Something about Nothing! » experience

An important milestone!

cheezo — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 06:12:20 +0000

I became 3years old sometime back.
Now, this time i complete 3 years of marital bliss.

As the wise folks one said “You should do exciting stuff to keep one’s marriage alive… add some spice to life…blah…blah”
This missus took these words quite literally. So for our 3rd wedding anniversary, the missus wanted to do things different. Obviously such things trigger fear and anxiety than joy to her counterpart.
I said innocently, “Do things differently? Please elaborate”.
The missus would then elaborate the whole thing for the next 2 hours which could have been spent something more useful like (watching re-runs of friends, reading something important like the evolution of porn on wiki and so…).

In short, the missus decided to have a performance review . She decided to have a performance review of all my activities which i performance or rather did not perform.

Well, the missus being a team-lead at work too the job at hand seriously and formalized the process and handed me with a form with the following categories (with explanations provided by me):

1. Following workplace organization methodologies like 5S , proper SCM standards etc.:

Now SCM, as per the wiki is defined ; Supply chain management (SCM) is the management of a network of interconnected businesses involved in the ultimate provision of product and service packages required by end customers. Yeah a whole lot of blah blah…
At home it meant whether the dirty clothes made to the laundry bag, then to the washing machine, then to the drying area and then to the laundry-wala.

This is evaluated by how many times the missus had to yell

“Laundry bags are full!”,

“Bathroom is stinking!”,

“I am wearing my fave red-colored-black-ribboned-off-white-laced-US-bought shirt after 3 months!” etc etc.

Important aspect of SCM is using the right resources

Also, did i use the correct resources?
Missus: “Did you use the blue soap powder for dark clothes?”
Me(thinking): “Blue soap powder? dark clothes?” (having no clue what or where is this mysterious blue soap powder is)
Me: Yes sure!
Missus: You sure? ( giving quizzical ACP-Pradyuman look from CID)
Me: Obviously, I love you baby.. Did you see the new sale at eastside…. (Change topic)
Missus nonchalanced…sees right through my trick) “Also put these clothes in the yellow laundry bag”
Me thinking hard this time) Yellow? We have red (for dark clothes), blue(for white), green(laundry).
Me: Surely (and frantically searching for that yellow bag!)

After SCM, now 5S!
5S: sorting, straightening, systematic cleaning, standardizing, and sustaining . The list describes how items are stored and how the new order is maintained.

At home, it means
“Did the week old dirty mug reach the sink ?” ,
“Did the old newspaper go into the right place?” ,
“Did the garbage go out in the right time?” .Note: Right time indicates time before the house was cordoned of as “toxic area! Enter at your own risk!”
Missus: “How many times do i have to you, that this thing belongs in the study area?”
Me: Absentmindedly “yeah,yeah…..wait we have a study area?” . I have lived in the same house as the missus for the last 2 years and i f***ing don’t know about any “study area”.

The areas in the house i know were: eating area, sleeping area (which is any place in the house where i can stretch my legs without hurting my back) and thinking area(yeah toilet).

Apparently i was shown this “study area” twice last year! Surely this is will hurt my ratings.

Another aspect of this 5S is not only keeping things properly, but remembering where which thing is kept.
Missus:”Where is the document? Hope you have kept it properly?”
Me: (grinning with pride, brimming with confidence) “Yes dear, I have kept it very properly!” (which i actually did)
Missus: “Where?!”
Me(thinking): Omigod, i don’t have a clue . I know i kept it properly, but where?
Me pride gone, confidence broken) “Ummm…arr.bb..gg… I love you baby There is a sale….”
Missus cutting in) “STFU! and search for that document”

So apparently, keeping things properly is important, but remembering where it is kept is the most important thing!.

2. “How many times i have told you that?” test.
(no need for explanations, examples will do
How many times i have told you that :
“have a bath before going to work”
“shave before anyone from my side comes home”(especially kids, without a shave…apparently i don’t look cool like Abhishek Bachchan or Vivek Oberoi but really scary like Irfan Khan explaining inflation)
“go to the gym!!”
“pay electricity bills, before they come personally to give notice”
“to stop writing stupid blogs and doing something useful with life”
“go to the dentist and fix those yellow teeth and no they are not golden but yellow” and so on…..

3. Eyeing potential acquisition which will never happen:

In other words.. staring at other beauties (ladies/gurls/aunties) besides the missus.
Oh wait. Not aunties. Just the rest.

Missus: “You go to the gym so regularly but haven’t shed a single pound??” (which translates to Do you work out or chat/gossip/flirt/stare at other beauties ?)

Missus: “Ahhrg! Don’t brake so urgently.. Pay attention to the road while driving” ( not to Scarlett Johannson’s minimally clad bilboard!!”

This is also depends on the amount of the newspaper-reading-time spent on reading PuneMirror ogling Megan Fox, Pamela Anderson etc in her their finest attire.

Another factor here is how many times i commented on a (female) friend’s photo on facebook about her new look, new hair cut but failed to recognize that the missus looks different after going to the parlor (got a new haircut, did her eyebrows, got a facial and even colored her hair).

4. Being a Cheapo!

That means taking the missus to eat at the road side chinese restaurant instead of “MainLand China” citing that even in China the best food is served on the road side.
Also, going to Shoppers’ Stop, Westside etc during non-sale season and not “liking” any dress.
The catchline “This makes you look fat!” always works.
Taking the missus to Goa during off-season (when rates are half) .
“Off season, no crowds na baby” or “Goa is so hot, but see Pune is hotter” and so on..

5. Wisecracks.
Now this means cracking jokes (especially pjs which *only* i think are funny) anytime, especially when the missus watching some tense moments her favorite sitcoms like CID, Jhansi ki Rani, Indian Idol etc . Yes they are sitcoms, but you need to see it a different light.

Now the evalution was done by the missus, the ratings given and then she had that look in her eyes. Yes the ACP Pradyuman look which is followed by the now-made-famous statement “Daya , darwaza tod do!” . In this case the darwaza was me!
Missus: “What kind of performance rating do you expect?”
Me: “I love you baby… You look slim today”
Missus: “I was only chubby when i was kid. What rating ?”
Me: “There is a sale in today…”
Missus: “-ve points for using clichéd sentences”
Then i swiftly reached my pocket and unleashed something from it (as a quick as Batman would unleash a new gadget on to his opponent … ok not as a quick…who am i kidding?).
Something that shines, exhales brillance and radiance.

At this moment, the look on the missus’s face changed to wonder, pleasant surprise and exuberance.

What was that something? It was the girl’s best friend !

Me:(thinking) “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend! …what crap … they are a man’s best friend to get them out of such situations”

This missus is damn happy, forgets about any reviews, performances etc and hugs me . I again, as swiftly as Batman try to snatch the performance review paper and trash it. The missus faster than me (obviously) swings around, holds on to the paper, gives a wry smile…. “There is always next year na honey !”

3 years old !

cheezo — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:13:00 +0000

I completed 3 years in the software industry last week. Its a milestone though a small one. Its also time look back, reflect and share some of the lessons i have learnt.

1. Quality of Work:
Chances are that you are not happy with your work because it is not challenging, repetitive, and/or there is nothing new to learn. Now frustration sets in, and typically one’s productivity reduces. I faced this problem more than once fell in the same trap mentioned above. Yes, i did tell my manager and tried to get better work and eventually did, but that is only solving half of the problem. It is not always for possible to get a team change/project change due to various reasons like economic recession amongst other things.

Along with crossing swords with your manager another thing one should do, is to try to see if you can change something about the current project/work. Improvise some code/some feature, automate something, add some more features. Look around and surely something can be done. Something can be learnt.
Also, another thing is capability. Even if there is some work/project to which you can be assigned; are you capable enough? How do you prove you are capable? e.g You are doing QA work and some Dev work opens up which interests you. Now what?

The solution to this is obviously, try to take on some more work which is challenging (along with you actual work) that can prove you are capable. Hence when eventually some new work comes along. You are in the radar.

Initially, i failed on both counts and found myself miserably frustrated. Along with frustration, self-doubt set in. I started doubting my capabilities also. Was i ready good enough for a better quality of job?
Luckily for me, my mentors/seniors at work helped me, guided me out of the rut.

Another aspect that comes out here when you hate your work is lack of productivity and interest. When you are in the right frame of mind, ideas flow; you are more creative. When you lack interest/hate you job; this flow stops.
Hence remember, even if your job sucks. Try to be most productive and give your best, while looking around for
other opportunities.
Its tough, but not impossible.

2.Ask for Feedback:
Always talk to your manager and ask for feedback. It helps in evaluating your performance throughout the year.
At my previous employer, i never bothered asking my manager about my feedback even though we had numerous one on one meetings. At the end of the year, i was surprised when i got a not-so-good rating in my review.
I make it a point to ask for feedbacks atleast per quarter. It gives good insight into where i stand and what i need to improve.

3. Communication:
Supplementing the above point; Always have one-on-one meetings with your immediate managers. Let them know of any issues you have. Don’t crib that the manager doesn’t ask. Its your job to tell them anyways.
Another thing is, letting people know you exist.

Once my manager asked me, how many people did know on this floor. There were atleast 100 ppl on the floor. I knew around a quarter that too because we were in the same team.
Let people know you exist; across teams. Interact with people in common areas like cafeteria, sports room etc. (No, not in the toilet!). This helps in the long run especially when you want to know about openings in other teams .
Also, talk to senior people in your team. You can learn a lot from them. In turn they know that you are active/forthcoming and will get you more involved in important activities.

4. Peer Pressure:
Another important lesson i learnt is handling peer pressure. Too often, we spend time comparing ourselves with others. Do I have better work than others? Is he getting paid more? Does the manager prefer him over me? etc. Don’t let yourself be bogged down with all these thoughts.

Remember the competition is always with yourself. It a very tough but important lesson. Try to find your own weaknesses and strengths and find work accordingly.
Note, its good to observe your co-workers and learn their good qualities both work related and general.

5. Gossip: Indulging in gossip especially one which spreads ill-will about your team, manager or the company is harmful in general. Criticizing companies policies etc are ok to some extent. But idle gossip brings the morale of the whole team down. This may not affect people who have been in the line for a while, but affect the freshers who have just joined. Try solving problems instead. Bring it to notice of your seniors and upper-management

Enough of fundas for now. These are the lessons i learnt after failing/falling multiple times. I was lucky enough to get chances to fix them.