Something about Nothing! » Feeling and Emotions

An important milestone!

cheezo — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 06:12:20 +0000

I became 3years old sometime back.
Now, this time i complete 3 years of marital bliss.

As the wise folks one said “You should do exciting stuff to keep one’s marriage alive… add some spice to life…blah…blah”
This missus took these words quite literally. So for our 3rd wedding anniversary, the missus wanted to do things different. Obviously such things trigger fear and anxiety than joy to her counterpart.
I said innocently, “Do things differently? Please elaborate”.
The missus would then elaborate the whole thing for the next 2 hours which could have been spent something more useful like (watching re-runs of friends, reading something important like the evolution of porn on wiki and so…).

In short, the missus decided to have a performance review . She decided to have a performance review of all my activities which i performance or rather did not perform.

Well, the missus being a team-lead at work too the job at hand seriously and formalized the process and handed me with a form with the following categories (with explanations provided by me):

1. Following workplace organization methodologies like 5S , proper SCM standards etc.:

Now SCM, as per the wiki is defined ; Supply chain management (SCM) is the management of a network of interconnected businesses involved in the ultimate provision of product and service packages required by end customers. Yeah a whole lot of blah blah…
At home it meant whether the dirty clothes made to the laundry bag, then to the washing machine, then to the drying area and then to the laundry-wala.

This is evaluated by how many times the missus had to yell

“Laundry bags are full!”,

“Bathroom is stinking!”,

“I am wearing my fave red-colored-black-ribboned-off-white-laced-US-bought shirt after 3 months!” etc etc.

Important aspect of SCM is using the right resources

Also, did i use the correct resources?
Missus: “Did you use the blue soap powder for dark clothes?”
Me(thinking): “Blue soap powder? dark clothes?” (having no clue what or where is this mysterious blue soap powder is)
Me: Yes sure!
Missus: You sure? ( giving quizzical ACP-Pradyuman look from CID)
Me: Obviously, I love you baby.. Did you see the new sale at eastside…. (Change topic)
Missus nonchalanced…sees right through my trick) “Also put these clothes in the yellow laundry bag”
Me thinking hard this time) Yellow? We have red (for dark clothes), blue(for white), green(laundry).
Me: Surely (and frantically searching for that yellow bag!)

After SCM, now 5S!
5S: sorting, straightening, systematic cleaning, standardizing, and sustaining . The list describes how items are stored and how the new order is maintained.

At home, it means
“Did the week old dirty mug reach the sink ?” ,
“Did the old newspaper go into the right place?” ,
“Did the garbage go out in the right time?” .Note: Right time indicates time before the house was cordoned of as “toxic area! Enter at your own risk!”
Missus: “How many times do i have to you, that this thing belongs in the study area?”
Me: Absentmindedly “yeah,yeah…..wait we have a study area?” . I have lived in the same house as the missus for the last 2 years and i f***ing don’t know about any “study area”.

The areas in the house i know were: eating area, sleeping area (which is any place in the house where i can stretch my legs without hurting my back) and thinking area(yeah toilet).

Apparently i was shown this “study area” twice last year! Surely this is will hurt my ratings.

Another aspect of this 5S is not only keeping things properly, but remembering where which thing is kept.
Missus:”Where is the document? Hope you have kept it properly?”
Me: (grinning with pride, brimming with confidence) “Yes dear, I have kept it very properly!” (which i actually did)
Missus: “Where?!”
Me(thinking): Omigod, i don’t have a clue . I know i kept it properly, but where?
Me pride gone, confidence broken) “Ummm…arr.bb..gg… I love you baby There is a sale….”
Missus cutting in) “STFU! and search for that document”

So apparently, keeping things properly is important, but remembering where it is kept is the most important thing!.

2. “How many times i have told you that?” test.
(no need for explanations, examples will do
How many times i have told you that :
“have a bath before going to work”
“shave before anyone from my side comes home”(especially kids, without a shave…apparently i don’t look cool like Abhishek Bachchan or Vivek Oberoi but really scary like Irfan Khan explaining inflation)
“go to the gym!!”
“pay electricity bills, before they come personally to give notice”
“to stop writing stupid blogs and doing something useful with life”
“go to the dentist and fix those yellow teeth and no they are not golden but yellow” and so on…..

3. Eyeing potential acquisition which will never happen:

In other words.. staring at other beauties (ladies/gurls/aunties) besides the missus.
Oh wait. Not aunties. Just the rest.

Missus: “You go to the gym so regularly but haven’t shed a single pound??” (which translates to Do you work out or chat/gossip/flirt/stare at other beauties ?)

Missus: “Ahhrg! Don’t brake so urgently.. Pay attention to the road while driving” ( not to Scarlett Johannson’s minimally clad bilboard!!”

This is also depends on the amount of the newspaper-reading-time spent on reading PuneMirror ogling Megan Fox, Pamela Anderson etc in her their finest attire.

Another factor here is how many times i commented on a (female) friend’s photo on facebook about her new look, new hair cut but failed to recognize that the missus looks different after going to the parlor (got a new haircut, did her eyebrows, got a facial and even colored her hair).

4. Being a Cheapo!

That means taking the missus to eat at the road side chinese restaurant instead of “MainLand China” citing that even in China the best food is served on the road side.
Also, going to Shoppers’ Stop, Westside etc during non-sale season and not “liking” any dress.
The catchline “This makes you look fat!” always works.
Taking the missus to Goa during off-season (when rates are half) .
“Off season, no crowds na baby” or “Goa is so hot, but see Pune is hotter” and so on..

5. Wisecracks.
Now this means cracking jokes (especially pjs which *only* i think are funny) anytime, especially when the missus watching some tense moments her favorite sitcoms like CID, Jhansi ki Rani, Indian Idol etc . Yes they are sitcoms, but you need to see it a different light.

Now the evalution was done by the missus, the ratings given and then she had that look in her eyes. Yes the ACP Pradyuman look which is followed by the now-made-famous statement “Daya , darwaza tod do!” . In this case the darwaza was me!
Missus: “What kind of performance rating do you expect?”
Me: “I love you baby… You look slim today”
Missus: “I was only chubby when i was kid. What rating ?”
Me: “There is a sale in today…”
Missus: “-ve points for using clichéd sentences”
Then i swiftly reached my pocket and unleashed something from it (as a quick as Batman would unleash a new gadget on to his opponent … ok not as a quick…who am i kidding?).
Something that shines, exhales brillance and radiance.

At this moment, the look on the missus’s face changed to wonder, pleasant surprise and exuberance.

What was that something? It was the girl’s best friend !

Me:(thinking) “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend! …what crap … they are a man’s best friend to get them out of such situations”

This missus is damn happy, forgets about any reviews, performances etc and hugs me . I again, as swiftly as Batman try to snatch the performance review paper and trash it. The missus faster than me (obviously) swings around, holds on to the paper, gives a wry smile…. “There is always next year na honey !”

3 years old !

cheezo — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 16:13:00 +0000

I completed 3 years in the software industry last week. Its a milestone though a small one. Its also time look back, reflect and share some of the lessons i have learnt.

1. Quality of Work:
Chances are that you are not happy with your work because it is not challenging, repetitive, and/or there is nothing new to learn. Now frustration sets in, and typically one’s productivity reduces. I faced this problem more than once fell in the same trap mentioned above. Yes, i did tell my manager and tried to get better work and eventually did, but that is only solving half of the problem. It is not always for possible to get a team change/project change due to various reasons like economic recession amongst other things.

Along with crossing swords with your manager another thing one should do, is to try to see if you can change something about the current project/work. Improvise some code/some feature, automate something, add some more features. Look around and surely something can be done. Something can be learnt.
Also, another thing is capability. Even if there is some work/project to which you can be assigned; are you capable enough? How do you prove you are capable? e.g You are doing QA work and some Dev work opens up which interests you. Now what?

The solution to this is obviously, try to take on some more work which is challenging (along with you actual work) that can prove you are capable. Hence when eventually some new work comes along. You are in the radar.

Initially, i failed on both counts and found myself miserably frustrated. Along with frustration, self-doubt set in. I started doubting my capabilities also. Was i ready good enough for a better quality of job?
Luckily for me, my mentors/seniors at work helped me, guided me out of the rut.

Another aspect that comes out here when you hate your work is lack of productivity and interest. When you are in the right frame of mind, ideas flow; you are more creative. When you lack interest/hate you job; this flow stops.
Hence remember, even if your job sucks. Try to be most productive and give your best, while looking around for
other opportunities.
Its tough, but not impossible.

2.Ask for Feedback:
Always talk to your manager and ask for feedback. It helps in evaluating your performance throughout the year.
At my previous employer, i never bothered asking my manager about my feedback even though we had numerous one on one meetings. At the end of the year, i was surprised when i got a not-so-good rating in my review.
I make it a point to ask for feedbacks atleast per quarter. It gives good insight into where i stand and what i need to improve.

3. Communication:
Supplementing the above point; Always have one-on-one meetings with your immediate managers. Let them know of any issues you have. Don’t crib that the manager doesn’t ask. Its your job to tell them anyways.
Another thing is, letting people know you exist.

Once my manager asked me, how many people did know on this floor. There were atleast 100 ppl on the floor. I knew around a quarter that too because we were in the same team.
Let people know you exist; across teams. Interact with people in common areas like cafeteria, sports room etc. (No, not in the toilet!). This helps in the long run especially when you want to know about openings in other teams .
Also, talk to senior people in your team. You can learn a lot from them. In turn they know that you are active/forthcoming and will get you more involved in important activities.

4. Peer Pressure:
Another important lesson i learnt is handling peer pressure. Too often, we spend time comparing ourselves with others. Do I have better work than others? Is he getting paid more? Does the manager prefer him over me? etc. Don’t let yourself be bogged down with all these thoughts.

Remember the competition is always with yourself. It a very tough but important lesson. Try to find your own weaknesses and strengths and find work accordingly.
Note, its good to observe your co-workers and learn their good qualities both work related and general.

5. Gossip: Indulging in gossip especially one which spreads ill-will about your team, manager or the company is harmful in general. Criticizing companies policies etc are ok to some extent. But idle gossip brings the morale of the whole team down. This may not affect people who have been in the line for a while, but affect the freshers who have just joined. Try solving problems instead. Bring it to notice of your seniors and upper-management

Enough of fundas for now. These are the lessons i learnt after failing/falling multiple times. I was lucky enough to get chances to fix them.

Stress: Are you really stressed out?

cheezo — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 14:40:00 +0000

I spoke about the above topic at my 2nd speech at Toastmasters’
I have expanded over my previous post

Good Afternoon to all,I am Chirag Jog.
My topic for today is “Are you really stressed out?”

Do we feel you all are really stressed? Too much work pressure, travelling in so much traffic, rash drivers, drivers
talking on their cells, etc

Do you feel life was easier, simpler in the past? And do you feel your life will be more stressful in the future?
Lets see if this common feeling is really justified.

My was talking to my father the other day. He was visibly irritated because a rash driver
speaking on his cell, carelessly overtook him. He said “Life has become so stressful.”
So much traffic! complemented by bad drivers.

Once the Nano comes out, traffic condition will worsen and we will be more stressed.

Life in general seems stressful. People say that competition has increased manifold.
Competiton for jobs, for education, for getting the right life-partner.
Along with that the inflation rate is high. Petrol has become costly.
The list is infinite. Things were so better in the past. Life was so simple.

Or were they really?

Lets move back in time a bit. Say 1980s. Was life less stressful then?
One would say, there was no rat race, no competition ! Yes thats true!
There were no jobs either! People today with just a degree can atleast hope to
work in a call centre if not anything else.
I remember when i was a kid i met a rickshaw driver who was a double graduate but couldn’t find a job.

This surely would add stress to our life!

Lets talk about communication.
Life was so simple no cell phones, simple landlines

A parent wouldn’t know when would she talk to her son who is working in another part of the coutry.
She also wouldn’t know whether the letter she wrote will reach in time or would reach at all.

This surely also would add to stress. right?

Also the traffic then was so less. Not a lot of vehicles on the road.
Well, yes thats true!
When you actually wanted to a buy Bajaj scooter, the waiting period was more than year.

Now the maximum you have to wait is 3 weeks.

Now this unnecessary waiting period would surely
to stress. No?

Lets move back in time even more.The prehistoric era.
Where humans lived in caves. Was there less stress then?
Man didn’t know when his next meal would come from?
would it even come at all. Man didn’t know which wild animal will he have face and when?

I am sure all these things surely did add stress to one’s life!

I am surely all these examples are self explanatory.Stress is a negative human emotion just like anger,frustration,sadness etc.
The surroundings have nothing to do with it. It is something that is generated in our minds.And hence
it is can be controlled just like any other emotion! So just relax, and enjoy the pollution, traffic and
the fellow rash driver as much as you can!

Back to the toastmaster!

Stress…!

cheezo — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 10:17:00 +0000

My dad was talking to me about the amount of stress we and the future generations were going to face. More Traffic (due to the Nano!), more pollution, more idiots talking on mobile phones while driving etc etc.

I thought for a few seconds and responded, “Stress is an emotion of the human psyche just like happiness, sad, frustration etc”
Humans have always experienced stress. Just that the reasons of stress vary.
Today the reasons are different from the ones yesterday. But you can’t say that its more or less. People (especially from the older generation) tend to think that older times were better times, less stressful times. This retrospective utopian thinking is surely misplaced.

In the 60s and 70s, communication was really poor. One wasn’t sure of the next time he would get to listen to his son or daughter’s voice who were probably in the U.S . People graduating from college weren’t sure getting jobs.

If we go even further back in time, prehistoric era where humans lived in caves and hunted for food; there was no certainity of when the next meal would come?
whether it would come at all? There were other things to worry about like wild animals, shelter, clothing etc

So circumstances change over time, and so do things that can add stress to your life and also things that reduce stress.

Let me reiterate the fact that stress is a human emotion just like sadness, anger and frustration. This is a good thing, as it can be brought under control.

So Learn to reduce stress in life by controlling rather than complain about it!

Icebreaker Speech

cheezo — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 03:33:00 +0000

In IBM Pune, I am part of the local Toastmasters’ Club known as the IBM Thinkmasters.

The first speech that you give here is known as the Ice Breaker. Typically you would take about yourself.
I did just that and i am going to share is here.

Good Afternoon Everyone!
This is my ice breaker speech.
I will talk about myself.
But I won’t be talking about Academics and things like that.
I will talk about a bit of my hobbies, experiences and the lessons
that i have learnt.

My Hobbies
———-
I love travelling a lot.
My favourate state is Himachal Pradesh.
In the last 5 years, i have visited Himachal 4 times.
I like going unknown not-very-popular destinations rather than the regular tourist places.
I love travelling by train. As i kid, i was always fascinated by the train and i still enjoy travelling
by train. Along with travelling another thing i enjoy is trekking. Recently I completed 10-day trek again in Himachal.
Besides that, the biggest two passions i have reading books and watching movies.
I typically read a lot of non-fiction books, and the categories range from History, Economics, Philosopy
to Travellogues.
In movies, no specific genre…any good movie is fine.

My Experiences and Lessons learnt
———————————–
1. During my school years, i had fallen into bad company. I was distracted from studies, good friends
and a lot of positive things.The end result was that i got really bad marks in SSC i.e 10th.
I found it tough to get into a good college. Luckily I did get into a good college.
My parents did support me a lot. I realized my mistakes then and worked to correct them.
I studied hard and got good marks in my 12th. That helped me get into a good engg college.
The lesson i learnt from this is that
“we will make mistakes in our life; we will fall down but life
always gives us chance to get up and rectify these mistakes
and we should take those chances and make full use of them”
In the movie “The Shawshank Redemption”, there is very dialogue
“Salvation lies within”. This is very apt.

2. In 2004-05, I had just finished my 2nd yr of engg and i had gone with a local pune group for a himalayan trek.
On the last day of the trek, (the day we have trekked the most). We were completely exhausted.
I, along with another friend on the trek got lost in the jungle.
We were lost and spent the entire night in the jungle.
I was just an amateur trekker back then, just learning and this friend was an expert.
We had to cross a lot of dangerous terrain which wouldn’t have even in our wildest
dreams. Even though I was not a greater trekker or very fit trekker, i never thought of quitting
no matter how tough or dangerous the terrain was. We are lucky to have lived to tell the tale.
I learnt firstly “Don’t get lost” and “secondly, When there is a will, there is a way”

3. Now, I will talk about the most important part of my life.
I am really lucky that I got to marry the love of my life.
There were a lot of issues which we knew of before hand, that
would surely prevent our being together. There were times
when our closest friends would say that it not going to happen
and that we should stop seeing each other etc.
But obviously, we couldn’t live apart and things fell into place
and everything got resolved.Again My parents supported me here as always.
I learnt that “When want something from the bottom of your heart
the entire universe will conspire to make it happen and surely does!”

These are some of the most important lessons that i have learnt in my life.
I thought sharing these experiences and the lessons learnt would help others.

I hope i have broken the ice !

Always Breathe deeply !!!

cheezo — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 15:24:00 +0000

Life is a circle. Whatever goes around comes back.
There is no use of anger in this life or any other.
Anger only spoils things.
Always be peaceful. Be in peace with yourself and others.
Always sort things out peacefully.
Keep your mind cool and calm.

Always Breathe Deeply !!

Whenever you feel angry, take a deep breath and realize it is not going to solve any problems.
Forget your past. Forget the bitter things.
Always look ahead. Always look towards the future.

Always Breathe Deeply !!

The past is behind us. Forget it. But remember the leasons learnt and move ahead.
People may do foolish things and so may you.
Forgive yourself first and then others.
People may hurt you and so may have you.

Forgive yourself first and then others.
Look at yourself first and then others.

But Remember, Always Breathe Deeply !!

Don’t regret things that have always happened.
Everything happens for a reason.
You will find the reason for every foolish thing you do.
That reason is always good.

Everything happens for the good.
If you think otherwise, its just your perpective.

Life is a party, enjoy it till it lasts.
And It won’t last forever.

But Always Breathe Deeply !!

How often do you let other people’s emotions change your mood?

cheezo — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 05:40:00 +0000

Here follows a really good forward I got in my mail in recent times:

How often do you let other people’s emotions change your mood?

Do you let a bad driver, rude waiter, curt boss, or an insensitive employee ruin your day? Unless you’re the Terminator, for an instant you’re probably set back on your heels. However, the mark of a successful person is how quickly one can get back their focus on what’s important.

Sixteen years ago I learned this lesson. I learned it in the back of a New York City taxi cab. Here’s what happened.

I hopped in a taxi, and we took off for Grand Central Station. We were driving in the right lane when, all of a sudden, a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us. My taxi driver slammed on his breaks, skidded, and missed the other car’s back end by just inches!

The driver of the other car, the guy who almost caused a big accident, whipped his head around and he started yelling bad words at us. My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy. And I mean, he was friendly. So, I said, “Why did you just do that? This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!”

And this is when my taxi driver told me what I now call, “The Law of the Garbage Truck.”

“Many people are like garbage trucks. They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment. As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it. And if you let them, they’ll dump it on you.

When someone wants to dump on you, don’t take it personally. You just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on. You’ll be happy you did.”

So this was it: The “Law of the Garbage Truck.” I started thinking, how often do I let Garbage Trucks run right over me? And how often do I take their garbage and spread it to other people: at work, at home, on the streets? It was that day I said, “I’m not going to do it anymore.”

I began to see garbage trucks. Like in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” the little boy said, “I see Dead People.”

Well, now “I see Garbage Trucks.” I see the load they’re carrying. I see them coming to drop it off. And like my Taxi Driver, I don’t make it a personal thing; I just smile, wave, wish them well, and I move on.

One of my favorite football players of all time, Walter Payton, did this every day on the football field. He would jump up as quickly as he hit the ground after being tackled. He never dwelled on a hit. Payton was ready to make the next play his best. Good leaders know they have to be ready for their next meeting.

Good parents know that they have to welcome their children home from school with hugs and kisses.
Leaders and parents know that they have to be fully present, and at their best for the people they care about.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let Garbage Trucks take over their day.

What about you? What would happen in your life, starting today, if you let more garbage trucks pass you by?

Here’s my bet. You’ll be happier.

Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so. Love the people who treat you right. Forget about the ones who don’t. Believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, TAKE IT!
If it changes your life, LET IT!
Nobody said it would be easy…
They just promised it would be worth it!

Love, Actually !

cheezo — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 14:44:00 +0000

Yesterday I finished seeing the movie:Love, Actually!!

It started and ended with scenes from Heathrow Airport . The scenes are of people reuniting ,hugging and kissing.Husbands and wives;girlfriends and boyfriends; parents and children.

The background commentary is says:
“On 9/11 when the planes crashed into the WTC. The messages sent from the planes werent of hatred and animosity but of love !”

Love has different forms like puppy love,crushes,infatuations,true love etc
It can be between friends,lovers ,parents, children,grandparents, grandchildren etc

What the form of love be; love is unconditional !

If we see , love, actually is all around us !

The Pursuit of Happiness

cheezo — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 13:16:00 +0000

In the Preamble to the Declaration of Independence,Thomas Jefferson wrote:
“ We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

How did he know that happiness is something that you cannot have? You will always pursue it.

For some having a lot of money is happiness.So he will pursue it. For some maybe being highly successful is happiness .So he will pursue it. For
others being with their loved ones.
But the thing about happiness is that , you will always keep pursuing it.
Why do we always pursue it ? Why can’t we always be happy ?

Unless we dont succeed , we are not happy.
When we struggle to achieve something, why cant we struggle happily ?
When we fail miserably, why we are pathetically sad ?
Why cant we fail happily ?

The reason is because we associate happiness or being happy with some achievement or object of desire.
We cannot just be happy,naturally !

Happiness is like love.

Do we say that , ‘only if you do this , I will love you !’ to our loved ones ?

Well I believe happiness is the same. Unconditional !
Love is always there , in your highs and your lows ; in your success and failure; in your gains and your losses.
Same is true for happiness .
We should feel happy irrespective of the situation we are in.
Being happy and positive will also help us , to think clear and come up with a solution which otherwise may not be possible.

I always feel happy even if it is a normal day with nothing great happening.
When you are happy , you are positive; you create a lot of positive energy around you.
Your interactions with others will be much more enthusiastic making them also happy.
You will say , thats a cliche now.
Well , Yes it is cliche but a true one !!! I speak from personal experience not from some self-help book.

Try it sometime !

Lets not pursue happiness , lets always be happy !

Bond with the Best !

cheezo — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 11:47:00 +0000

A lot of things have happened in the past couple of months.

I finished my Engineering and now am working at Nevis Networks , Pune .
I recently got engaged to the love of my life , Leena which my family think was forced on to them as I am too young (just 22 you see) . The smiling faces in the album will surely not reflect this sentiment.

I now realize that , not being close to Parents has a lot of downsides. Firstly , they will never really know whether to trust their children in whatever decisions they make.
There is fear and doubt in their hearts when we take radical decisions on whether it will be right or wrong.For them this fear is rightly justified . The other side has another story altogether.
The kids think that , ‘why can’t the parents trust their decisions ? What are they scared of ?’

And What follows is an perfect recipe for disaster . Every one is right in their own position.
The problem is not even that . It is but obvious that everyone is going to have a view where he/she expects the other to be more compromising unless of course you are a saint.
The problem lies in the fact none of the sides are even bothered to understand what the other side is trying put forth. Especially when all have big Egos and big expectations .

So coming back to the main idea. Parents and Children all should realize that , living in an Indian Society , all their destinies are bound by the parent-child relation .
Strengthening it of utmost importance. A lot of us misunderstand this concept of strengthening this bond. Just by giving into all the wishes of any one be it a child giving into his parent wishes or vice versa will not strengthen it.
The key to strengthening a relationship is communication ( a lot of it) , understanding what the other is saying and showing confidence.

Eg . I wanted to go to Leh for a vacation with a group of friends. Instant reaction from my parents was no !!!. Without consideration or regard the answer NO !!. Why ?? Obviously I had to bully my way through ( as I always have done) . Every action has a reaction with equal if not more magnitude. Especially I am bound to be pissed , when my parents give examples of how this guy is not going or that guy listens . When the approach itself starts out to be negative , the results are bound to be negative .Then I am blamed to have used techniques of emotional blackmailing and all.This is a typical example of many that has severed our bond.

Fear and Doubt is going to be there in everyone’s mind . But by showing obsessive-compulsive behavior , Are We getting anywhere?

Children should work more positively towards reducing this fear and doubt . While Parents should be willing to see other side and not be stubborn.

Communication is the key!!
Also the communication that takes place should be devoid of contempt , spite or ego . This is the most important thing .

The Parents should realize that in Today’s World , Kids are more independent ( moneywise and otherwise) than ever and may never come back if they overly strict. Also by giving into their wishes all the time will only make them egocentric .

The Children should realize that , when they are going to be stuck in a soup the Parents surely are going to be there to bail them out.

We cannot have a World where all Ideas match , especially across generations (its more tough , believe me!!) .Thats Leads to Generation Gaps .
But we can surely bridge these Gaps by acting more understandingly and giving our egos a little break !!